Thursday, May 28, 2015
Real Fantasy
By Ashley P.
When coming to a close in Stealing Buddha's Dinner, one idea that came apparent was the idea of fantasy. Bich was an avid reader and she was fond of adventures and fantasies. She knew her mother wasn't one who would show up out of the blue and sweep her away from the world she felt wasn't her own, "I had always known that whoever my mother was, she was not the stuff of fantasies. She was, on the contrary, the stuff of too much reality" (Nguyen 236). This is a pivital point in Bich's journey because she is realizing her reality. Her parents, father and stepmother, stuck together in a home while divorced, just to make sure that the kids would all continue to have a stable home life.
Reality for Bich and her siblings was having their father, Rosa and Noi around, as a constant support in different ways. The reality that their mother was a blank face in their minds because she was still in VIetnam after they fled to America. The reality was that she still existed, she was still there, in a way that wasn't physical. The family avoided the fact that she still existed, it was not something that was talked about, at least until she came to America, and Bich and Ahn found out. She never had happy fantasies about seeing her mother, like they did in soap operas where "people [were] reuniting with great cries and splashing tears" (Nguyen 235). Truth is, she never imagined meeting her mother because she had never known her. It's good that Bich's parents stayed together to give the home the stability, even if it wasn't the type of stability Bich had once desired as a young girl.
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I agree that Bich lived her life with ideas of fantasy coming from all the books she read. She always imagined herself to be whatever was in her mind at the time, but was hit with reality by not only her step mother, Rosa, but also by the children at school who called her weird and labeled her as a foreigner and the adults who could not see past her ethnicity. Her real mother also filled her mind with visions of reality because of their particular situation of becoming refugees. she hides in the stories of her books creating a fictional mind set. It is interesting how she is the only one in her family that deals with fantasy and she is surrounded by people who bring her back to reality.
ReplyDeleteBy Mike M.
The theme of books was so apparent to me while reading this memoir, but the concept of fantasies never did cross my mind for some reason, so I'm glad you brought this aspect up to get people thinking about it! Bich's way of escaping her reality was to hide in books and live as fictional characters did, changing the contexts of the stories they come from to try and relate to them so she can embody them. It definitely becomes clear that Bich is a dreamer with a grand imagination, however you're right that she does not choose to dream up visions of her biological mother. This made me realize that Bich only fantasizes about matters that are in the realm of actual playing out in reality, such as eating decadent dishes or living a life similar to her favorite characters. The absence of Bich's mother in her life is such a permanent concept that Bich understands fantasizing would only deepen and prolong the void of her mother's place in her life. I think Bich's goal is to rid herself of that emptiness her mother left, which makes her decision to leave her out of fantasies a defense mechanism to overcome her unalterable situation. Bich knows what is even the slightest bit possible and indulges in fantasies of those, but she also knows what is impossible and opts to leave realities that fall under those categories where they stand to protect her own well-being.
ReplyDeleteHappy reading!
Lorraine Sobretodo
Great point, Ashley! I thought that was super interesting that Bich never had a high expectation on meeting her birth mother, especially since Bich is extremely imaginative. The quote you gave was interesting, because Bich explicitly states that her mother someone that only contained reality. I had seen that as a statement of nervousness because she did not know what to expect from her birth mother. The thought of not knowing what to expect from her mother was overwhelming and something she could not fathom since Bich’s parents never spoke of her birth mother. Just as you have pointed out, Bich’s mother was a constant reality to her even though there was a lack of conversation regarding her. Maybe that is why there was no “splashing tears” when they met, there was a lack of expectation and confusion since there was very little mention of her and no fantasy of a meeting. As a reader, I felt the scene very lacking, but then again, I did not know what to expect either.
ReplyDeleteBy Angel D.
Great point, Ashley! I thought that was super interesting that Bich never had a high expectation on meeting her birth mother, especially since Bich is extremely imaginative. The quote you gave was interesting, because Bich explicitly states that her mother someone that only contained reality. I had seen that as a statement of nervousness because she did not know what to expect from her birth mother. The thought of not knowing what to expect from her mother was overwhelming and something she could not fathom since Bich’s parents never spoke of her birth mother. Just as you have pointed out, Bich’s mother was a constant reality to her even though there was a lack of conversation regarding her. Maybe that is why there was no “splashing tears” when they met, there was a lack of expectation and confusion since there was very little mention of her and no fantasy of a meeting. As a reader, I felt the scene very lacking, but then again, I did not know what to expect either.
ReplyDeleteBy Angel D.